Why am I so neglectful? Or am I just busy? My days are spent running around after Lily Grace and having tickle fights and having time-to-take-a-bath-fights and all that is in between. We have tried to stay busy so we don't get sucked in to the stay-at-home part of our new lives. I am thankful that come mid-August (about the time the walls start closing in) she will be going to preschool three days a week a la my mother, which I am extremely grateful for.
I am about to wrap up another class and will start the next one immediately. I am so pleased that school is moving right along. I hope it continues this way up until graduation. I've made good grades since I've been back in college and I keep wondering why it was so difficult to do school work, much less do it well, when I was on campus. When I look back at my grades--pre-family--I am ashamed. Let's just say there are more W's (withdraw's) than A's, luckily more C's than F's, but still some F's. I can't believe I was just throwing away my college career. I suppose I thought I was going to be able to redeem myself in that fifth or sixth year, but honestly, I just was not mature enough to appreciate what I had. And what I had was endless opportunity.
My new life, as I call it, gives me so much joy and fulfillment that I cannot believe this type of life was not even on my radar before I was graced. However, when I was "young" I was so clueless as to what I thought would make me happy. I still believe that I would feel satisfaction from an important job, but not many of my other 20-something friends have important jobs. They just have regular jobs. And get drunk a lot.
I used to party a little so I could feel like I wasn't pushing 40, but eventually I realized that parenting is a lot more pleasant when you're A) not hungover and B) not worried about what you're going to do this weekend because C) what your precious child is doing right this very second is important(!!!).
I am sure that seasoned veteran mothers would look down on me, but I know that my life is a constant learning experience and I am totally OK with that. I would give anything to have gone into parenting with a little more idea of what lay ahead and a few less wild oats still in tow. However, that's just not how my cards were dealt. You live. You learn. And you become a better person.
Wow, this post just got really cliche. Bare with me, I'm growing up.
Oh, my mother was right. About everything. Obvi.